


T.S.F.B.O.D.

by Route_44, wheeeeeeeeeeeeee



Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boy Band, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Humor, They suck, might get a bit gay in later chapters we'll see
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-06
Updated: 2014-09-06
Packaged: 2018-02-16 07:26:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2261037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Route_44/pseuds/Route_44, https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheeeeeeeeeeeeee/pseuds/wheeeeeeeeeeeeee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a bunch of silly cute short things about a bunch of nerds starting a crappy band.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. High Grade Monkeys- Ai Catch- Goatbed

"And a 1, 2, 3, 4-" BANG CRASH BA DUDUDUM SCREEEEEEE beep boop beep BOOM. For the first practice of a shit band, it could maybe have been slightly worse. If each member had been in a separate, soundproof room, they'd be perfectly passable.

Tae pressed a hand to her temple.

"Would you ever consider playing either quieter or better?" she sighed, "I'm an old woman and my heart can't handle you being this bad."

"Grams! Even Sei and me?" Aoba said," Your own blood?"

"No matter how much I love you, you still need to agree on a song before you start playing it."

 

A faint sniffling came from across the room. It was the weirdo who'd been singing. Somehow, The lenses of his gas mask widened and began to well up with tears. Aoba raised a hand. "Um... what? How is tha-"

 

"So mean!" The weirdo interrupted, bawling all over the place like a  sad little fire hydrant.  "Aw, Clear!" Sei rose from his seat next to Aoba at their shared fluffy keyboard and went to comfort him.

 

"Tae-san, be reasonable." said Koujaku, briefly looking up from his feathery red guitar."These people? Agree? Look at them."

 

Tae looked around.As much as she didn't what to admit it,he did have a point. Clear was crying while Sei gently patted his shoulder,obviously not used to getting the slightest bit of criticism.

Their drummer, Noiz, sat with his mouth open, using his teeth to twiddle his tongue piercing behind a drum set covered in bunny stickers.  In a far corner of the room stood their silent, refrigerator-shaped bassist Mink, lazily holding his pink instrument with one hand, and radiating pure, uncut, hatred.  Koujaku had little experience and was often over eager.  Even her two grandsons lacked any sort of leadership skills.This band needed a monstrous amount of work.

 

"Calm your panties, dickslit." said Noiz, "Like you're not the biggest dweeb here."

"Shut up, idiot." Koujaku responded.  "You're wearing two pairs of pants."

Noiz didn't respond, and went back to fiddling with his piercing.

“You’re both right.” Tae said. "Now if you’re going to practice in my house, you all have to become better musicians. Consider me your new manager. Any complaints?”

 

Koujaku started to raise his hand. She walked over and smacked him upside the head. Sheepishly, he sat back down.

"Any more complaints?"

Silence.

"Good."

She took off her coil and placed it on the table in the centre of the room. It projected a large rectangle in the air, which she could draw and write on with a finger. On it, she wrote "SONG".

"Let's start by choosing a song. Do you want to start with a cover, or write an original?"

“Original”, said Sei.

“Okay, good. Let’s get started. You,” She pointed at Koujaku. “Give us a chord progression.”

“Sure.” Koujaku moved his hands down to his guitar.

 

| E+ | G#- | B+ | C- |

 

“Great. There’s our chorus. ” She turned to Clear. “If you’re feeling better, can you write some lyrics to that?”

Clear sat back up, wiped the tears from his mask, and nodded. “Give me 15 minutes.” He took a notebook and pen out of his coat pocket and began to write.

“Now,” said Tae, “You on the bass, play the roots of those chords with Koujaku. Piercings, play the drums. Sei, do left hand chords and Aoba maybe some high e major arpeggios, but not too much. Just some small ornaments." Aoba nodded.

 

They started doing the things they had been told to do. It sounded better. Tae -leedleedleedleely, went koujaku’s guitar in the backround- nodded to her -leedlyleedly- self. “Good. Much Better.” She turned -leedlyleedlyleedly- to Mink. ”So you. There are numbers under 10 on your volume”-leedlyleedlyleeeeeeeleedly-”dial. Acquaint yourself with”-leedlyleedlyleedly-”them. Koujaku, would you shut the hell up for thirty seconds?” Koujaku blushed and stopped playing. “Thank you. And turn your volume down, Mink.” Angrily,  Mink complied. “Great. Clear how are those lyrics coming?” Clear stood up, small pink flowers floating around his head. “Done! They could use some improving and some more verses, but here’s what I have.”

  


_don't you see that you slash me is my one true OTP_   
  
_like kaworu was to shinji You're an angel from the sky_   
_Like rei to nagisa from free!_   
_my darling butterfly_   
_and unlike poor Marco bodt_   
_my love will never die_   
_like jean I'm half the normal me_   
_because we are my OTP_   
  
_you're sweet as princess bubblegum_   
_I'll be your marceline_   
_like margaery and sansa stark_   
_we'll rule the world as queens_   
_like homura to madoka_   
_I'll see you in my dreams_   
_but disregard rebellion please you and me are my OTP_

 

Clear beamed through his gas mask. “What do you think?” He asked the room. Nobody was making eye contact with him. “Is it bad?” He said, in a voice that would make an orphaned puppy with terminal cancer feel bad for him.

“Aw, Clear, it’s not bad at all.” Aoba said. Sei politely nodded in agreement. “It’s... cute? I guess.” Said Noiz. “Romantic.” Added Koujaku. Mink remained uninterested. Clear returned to sparkling like he had a unicorn horn up his ass.

“Yay! Our first song!” Squealed Clear. Tae smiled slightly. “Not bad for the first practice of a shit band. Have you given any thought to names?”

“We should call ourselves something cute, like the fluffy bunnies.” Offered Clear.

“I vote bunnies too.” Said Noiz. Tae nodded and wrote “fluffy bunnies” on the projection.

"What the hell?" Said Koujaku. "Can we please have a sexier name than the fluffy bunnies?"

Tae sighed, and wrote something on the board.

Suddenly,  a harsh autumn breeze blew through the Seragaki living room. Mink was staring at the others, hating them actively rather than his usual passive aura of hatred. Even Tae was slightly taken aback. Slightly.

"Death." Growled Mink, imposingly.

“Alright then.” Tae made a final addition to the board.

“There’s your name. Now it’s getting late. Go home.”

“Um... Tae-san? That name is kinda terrible...” Ventured Koujaku.

_“There’s your name. Now it’s getting late. Go home.”_

Koujaku cowered. “Yes ma’am. Sorry.”

 

And so began the journey of a band with the potential to maybe slightly change local history:

 

_**The Sexy Fluffy Bunnies of Death.** _

  
  



	2. We're All Goofy Goobers-Spongebob

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the best thing I have ever done with my life

It was a quiet night in Midorijima. The Sexy Fluffy Bunnies of Death, Japan’s newest and least up and coming boy band, were in theory practicing, but Tae was helping out at the hospital with a recent flu epidemic, and they weren’t even remotely working. Mink and Koujaku were both smoking on the veranda. Inside Noiz was doing something with a computer, the psychic formerly albino and conjoined twins were sitting back to back on the bed with Sei reading a book and Aoba listening to music, and Clear was making small flowers out of tissues and attaching them to a grimly resigned Ren. Noiz looked up from his screen. “Why are you doing that?” he asked Clear.

Clear smiled brightly through his gas mask and shrugged. “Because it’s fun, i guess.”

Noiz tilted his head and made a weird face. “Fun?” He asked, confused.

Clear’s lenses widened in pity. “Let me spell it for you.” He walked over to Aoba and whispered something in his ear. Aoba nodded and picked up Ren, who shifted forms into what looked like a miniature guitar, which he  began to strum it while Clear began singing.

_“F is for Friends who do stuff together,_

_U is for U and Me,_

_N is for Anywhere and Anytime at all,_

_Out here in Midoriji-_

_ma!”_

“Your turn!” He said, grinning expectantly at Noiz, who rolled his eyes and sighed before opening his mouth.

_“F is for Fuck off, and leave me alone, Clear,_

_U is for Urethral... Piercings!_

_N is for No one loves me-”_

“Noiz! Those things aren’t what fun is about!”

“Even the piercings?”

“Okay, maybe the piercings, but not the other things. And there are lots of people who love you.” Clear lightly booped Noiz on the cheek with his finger. He leaned against him and started singing.

_“F is for Friends who do stuff together,_

_U is for U and Me,”_

He turned to Noiz, who grudgingly smiled and laughed before joining in.

_“N is for Anywhere and Anytime at all,_

_Out here in Midoriji-_

_ma!_

_F is for Frolic through all the flowers,_

_U is for Ukelele,”_

At this, they both put an arm around Aoba.

_N is for Nose picking, chewing gum, and ass licking,_

_Here with my best buddy!”_

 

The three of them fell back onto the bed together laughing and singing, in a big happy cuddly pile of nerds.

 

Meanwhile, on the balcony, Koujaku took a drag from his cigarette. “Hey Mink,” he asked, “Does whatever you’re smoking make people hallucinate?”

“I’m not giving you any.”

“That’s fine. I just thought I heard Noiz and Clear singing about eating ass. Any chance I got some second hand?”

“Nope. That’s happening.”

“Huh.”

“Idiots.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get it? UKElele? it's a pune

**Author's Note:**

> i am so ashamed of those lyrics oh my god


End file.
